How to get a bisexual woman

You’d think that as a woman I’d have some insight on dating other women. Some built in knowledge about how the female brain works. Sadly I do not. Chicks are hard to date.

There’s a woman I’ve dated sort of off and on since Feb. Things started off in a weird way with us. We initially connected over some shared situations. She seemed like she needed a friend. I could relate to what she was going through, so I offered a shoulder. Not expecting to date her. But that’s what happened.

So we dated for a bit. Until things in her life started to get sticky and she needed to pay attention to those things and so we broke up. Or, I thought we broke up. Then she started coming around again. Calling me her girlfriend again. Thus began the cycle. She gets close for a bit then disappears. Then she pops back up again. Like yesterday. I haven’t heard from her in weeks and yesterday she sends me a text because she was stuck someplace and bored.

I would be completely fine with it if all she wanted to be was a fuck buddy. Then I wouldn’t mind the occasional call. Because the boundaries seem a little clearer when sex is the only thing on the table. But she seems to want the shoulder to cry on as well as the sex. To be honest, I have enough stuff going on in my life. I don’t have the energy to be a sounding board for someone who only wants to come around when it is convenient for her. Even if she is tall and gorgeous and a great kisser.

Then there was a complete shocker of an email in my in-box this morning. A woman who I’ve known for well over a year is interested in me. She’s not been with a woman. She keeps her bi-curious tendencies under wraps. She’s a wonderful woman. I like her a lot. I’d be happy to get to know her better and see where things could go.

Except that instead of emailing me herself, it was a mutual friend that sent the email. Because she is shy about making the first move with another woman. So as flattered as I am that she’s interested, at the same time it feels a little like high school. I’m not sure exactly how to respond to her. “So hey, I hear you’re interested, wanna fuck?” Really? Not to mention I know that the mutual friend will be asking for reports as to how this has progressed and then you get the sensation of being under a microscope and oy vey.

I love women. Don’t get me wrong. But men are so much easier to date. The fool proof formula for a man = be low maintenance and put out. I can do that in my sleep. That’s my preferred speed. But I like women way too much to give up on them. I just wish they were easier to date.